Hetalia: States Go To Hogwarts!
by Mermaidhorse
Summary: What would happen if 12 of America's states, as well as his capital, were sent to Hogwarts for a year? Would they actually to their job, or would they just wreck the magical school? How will the Golden Trio react to these 13 American strangers that randomly show up? Set during PoA
1. Chapter 1: Hogwarts? Or Was It Pigfarts?

**Chapter One: Hogwarts? Or Was It Pigfarts?**

"ALL RIGHT! THAT IS ENOUGH!" Virginia yelled."DAD! HELP ME HERE, PLEASE!"

America looked over to see Virginia trying to keep Texas and Alabama from ripping each others heads off.

Virginia had short brown hair, light blue eyes (much like America's), and was wearing a blue shirt that said: "Old Dominion State" in bright pink with his state flag on the back.

Texas had shoulder-length, light brown hair with blond tips, half-moon glasses, and a "Keep Calm and Ride On" shirt with a giant star in the background.

Alabama had blond hair, bright green eyes, and was wearing a white wife-beater with a red flannel over it.

Both Texas and Alabama had been arguing over who had better schools before Virginia had stepped in. America could see Alaska, Texas's over-protective shadow, sitting in the corner with an amused face.

"Hahaha!" America laughed. "Just get Alaska to take care of 'em!" Both Texas and Alabama paled at the thought. Alaska had been known throughout the States as one of the strongest and acted so much like Russia at times, it scared America himself.

"Okay, okay, we'll stop.." Alabama muttered.

"Good! I do not want to sick Kyra on you just yet!" Alaska said playfully, petting his faithful husky. Alaska had a silver flop of hair, violet/blue eyes, and often wore a giant brown, eskimo-like coat over himself. He was almost always followed by a silver and white husky with an Alaskan Flag scarf around his neck named Kyra.

America could hear Alabama start to argue with Alaska, and smiled a little. All was right with the world. For now, at least. Some of the other States were upstairs in their rooms, probably doing some random crap. Not that he minded, of course. So long as no one dies, his house isn't damaged, and no one is mortally wounded, America was happy. That was, of course, until Florida came running into the room holding an owl.

"Dad!" The sun-bleached blond yelled. "This owl showed up in North Carolina's room, and it has a letter thingy!" She said, stopping in front of America.

Suddenly, Texas and Alabama were crowding around Florida and America. "A letter thing?" Alabama asked.

"Didn't those things, y'know, go out of style _years_ ago?" Texas added.

America just grinned. "It's from Iggy!"

"You mean that stupid tea-freak?" Virginia asked, scowling.

Alaska turned to Virginia, scowling. "He's not that bad, I'll have you know. But his tea does suck!" Alaska added on, seeing the 10th State's look. Virginia gave a satisfied nod before turning back to their father.

"So, what does England want?" Texas asked, eager for information as always.

"He wants me to send someone to some magic school…" America said in disbelief.

At this, Alaska perked up. "Magick? I'll have you know that I have the highest amount of healing potion makers in the US!"

Turning to their brother, the other States gave Alaska a look that said 'Really?' The State just gave a shrug. "It's true."

Alabama just rolled his eyes. "Yes, but all of of your potion makers use pure herbal stuff. It's impractical to use all that herbal stuff these days."

"It is not!" Alaska protested, glaring at his brother.

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Dudes! Shut up and listen to me!" America yelled, fed up with his children. "Iggy wants me to send someone to his stupid magic school to stop Moldy-warts or whatever-"

"Voldemort," Florida piped up.

"and to protect some kid, Harold Porter or whatever"

"Harry Potter," the Sunshine State informed.

"-and make sure he doesn't get himself into trouble or die. Apparently Iggy's having some trouble at his school, and he needs someone to be there to make sure Harold, or Harry, whichever, doesn't kill himself." America said, pausing. "Apparently the kid has a knack for getting into trouble."

Texas scoffed, "he sounds like DC. He's always running around, asking for trouble or demanding us to recognize him as a State."

Florida smirked, "yeah, and Mama Virginia and Papa Maryland are always having to get him out of trouble with Dad."

At this, Virginia blushed a deep red with a dignified; "I am not his mother!"

"Keep telling yourself that, _da_?" Alaska laughed.

"Dude," America and Texas said at the same time. "You sound like Russia."

At the sound of the Nation's name, Kyra barked. Alaska easily translated Kyra's bark as "Russia?"

"No, _Otets_ is not here, Kyra." Said dog's owner said sadly. The husky gave a small, sad whine.

Alabama shuddered a bit, "I forgot that you spoke dog."

" _Neyt_ , only husky," Alaska said with a shrug. "Though, I do wish that I spoke German Shepherd-"

Texas's skipping around the room chanting "We're going to Hogwarts! We're going to Hogwarts!" interrupted the chatting States before Alaska could go into a rant about dogs.

"Hey, Dad, when are we gonna go?!" Texas said excitedly.

"Who says you're going?!" Virginia stepped in before their dad could speak. "You, Alabama, California, Florida, South Carolina, North Dakota, and New York always get into trouble wherever you go! So no way in Hell am I going to let you go!"

Texas whipped around to face the other state, as did Alabama and Florida. "Who says we have to get permission from you to go?" Florida challenged.

"Yeah!" Alabama shouted. "This isn't the Civil War, so we don't have to listen to you!"

All the states present winced that the mention of the Civil War, even Alaska, who hadn't even been part of the war. He had heard enough stories and read enough history books to know what happened.

"Dude," Texas whined. "Ya' have to bring that up in _every_ argument we have against Virgy here?" Florida nodded her head in agreement, something that didn't happen often.

Alabama flushed sheepishly. "Sorry, but it's, like, the _only_ thing I can use against him."

Florida smirked. "Ha! That means that you're _boring_!"

Alabama glared at his sister. "Texas is worse!"

Both turned to look at said state, who put her hands up in defense. "Don't y'all bring me into this. 'Cause I, for one, have many-a awesome things. Like Dr Pepper, for example." Texas smirked, " _and_ , I have the most hospitals. So, next time ya' get hurt, don't come crawling to me for help, 'cause it ain't gonna happen."

Alaska came up behind Texas. "Now, now, Texas, no need to be so cruel, _da_?"

"Dude," Alabama said, "can ya' stop it with the whole ' _da_?' thing? It's freakin' creepy!"

Alaska smiled at him, "but that is the point, no? I scare you, you listen to me."

"Guys!" America butted in before Alabama could say something stupid. "I'll let a few of you guys go, but not enough to be suspicious." The country put a hand on his chin, thinking. "Maybe about ten of you? That should be good. I'll get someone to take care of all your paperwork, but I want the-" He stopped and counted the states in the room, "-five of you there, but I need about five more to go. I'll let you know who's gonna go tomorrow, then I'll send ya' to Iggy's place to do your wizard-y things that ya' needa do. Clear?"

America got five "sir yes sir"'s in response, before the five states all walked out of the room to let their father wright back to England.

:)T(:

"So, Tex," Alaska asked whenever he and Texas entered Texas's room. "Who do you think will be going with us to this 'Hogwarts' of England's?"

Alaska's sister sighed. "I have no clue," she fell onto her Wild-West themed bed. "Probably someone with a lot of magic, or has a giant magical community." Texas turned her strikingly bright sky-blue eyes on her violet-eyed companion. "You have a large potion-making community, right?"

Alaska nodded his head, absently stroking Kyra's head. " _Da_ , and you have that giant wizard community- what is it called again?"

"I have lots of wizard communities, but the biggest is in between Houston and Beaumont. It's hidden from 'Muggles', and called Widdlebay." Texas sighed. "I wish there wasn't so much discrimination between Muggles and Wizards."

Alaska nodded his head in agreement. " _Da_. The world would be a better place."

:)T(:

 _ **Hello, people who are reading this odd fanfiction! My name is Mermaidhorse, and I'm going to try to make this the only author's note for SGTH. So, I must say some stuff to prepare you. There will be a lot/most likely a lot of crude/racist jokes that I will make. If you are offended by this easily, let me know (PM or review, I don't care) so I can try to tone it down a bit. This is rated T because of these jokes and minor swearing, as well as Texas, Alabama, and South Dakota and their tendencies to be weird and cruse a lot, and Virginia and Maryland's lovey-dovey moments. :D**_

 _ **Warning! THIS WILL BE A CRACK FIC! It's humour/adventure, so that means I will make this as funny, random, and weird as possible! However, there will be moments with fluff, seriousness, three little Gryffindors snooping around, and the references of other fandoms that is sure to ensue. If you don't get these, just ignore them or Google it. If you have any references you would like for me to make, tell me and I can most likely make one happen. I'm willing to bend the plot a bit for any kind of random crack. :D**_

 _ **Also, I have no set timetable. When I want to update, I will update. If I really don't feel like it, I won't update. I'm sorry if you don't like this, but last time I tried to update on a set time (my Roth High fic) I ended up never updating after chapter 16, I think. I can't really remember. If you did read my Roth High fic and are waiting for an update, I'm sorry to say but I'm most likely never going to update it. I might re-write it, but most likely not. I'm sorry :(**_

 _ **If you also have any weird or random facts for any state, any state at all, be free to tell me! I'll also take Mexico's or Canada's state/territory/province things and their random facts! Here's basically what one would be: "Hey! Random fact about Alaska! Alaska has a lake that's almost the size of Connecticut!" Add that into a review or PM, and I'll see if I can add it into the story. Thank you! :D**_

 _ **I AM IN NEED OF A BETA READER! If you wish to be the BETA reader for SGTH, PM me and I'll look into it. I'll make an update in the future chapters if I already have a BETA, and don't need another, but I'm willing to have up to 3 BETAS. After 3, I'm not going to ask for anymore.**_

 _ **I must also say, only the plot is mine. Hetalia, Harry Potter, any random songs the States sing, is not mine. This is a Disclaimer for all the chapters since I'm too lazy to actually add Disclaimers to every single chapter. -3-**_

 _ **Thank you so much for reading SGTH and this hella long AN! :D I'm eagerly waiting for any reviews that may come! :D**_

 _ **~Mermaidhorse =^-^=**_


	2. Chapter 2: Texas's Singing Sucks

Chapter Two: Texas's Singing Sucks

"So…" Texas sighed, entering the kitchen only to find Maryland making pancakes and waffles. "Ya' hear the news?"

Maryland turned his head to look at Texas through his half-moon glasses. "That we're going to go to that English freak's school? Yes, I heard, and I'm not happy." Texas instantly became happier, despite what her brother had said.

"You're coming, too? Sweet!" Texas was soon hovering by her green-eyed brother. She poked Maryland's head, "Do ya'know who else is coming? Can ya' tell me? Can ya'?"

Maryland turned to glare at Texas. " _No_ , I can't. Now can you please go bug someone else?"

"Nope!" Texas happily chirped, sitting on the counter. "I wanna know who else is comin'! Tell meeeee!"

"Well, I would tell you, except for the fact that I'd rather _not_ tell any annoying children that information." Maryland deadpanned.

Texas pouted, gears turning in her head to think of a witty comeback whenever a wet nose was pushing against her leg. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Texas screeched, not sounding cool at all, toppling onto the floor with a hard, painful sounding _thump!_

"Ow," the state whined, putting a hand on her head. "That huuurt!"

"Well," Maryland said, patting Kyra on the head, "that should teach you a lesson on sitting on top of counters like some _ruffian_."

"That's not what you were sayin' to Virginia last night." Texas mumbled, getting up and giving Kyra a death glare. "Not cool, mutt. Not cool at _all_."

"Aww, don't be so mean to Kyra!" Alaska said, walking up behind Texas, scaring the "ever-living-craps" out of the state once again.

"'Ska!" Texas scolded. "You don't just walk up behind people like that!"

"Oh, like you should be scolding anyone," Maryland deadpanned, once again.

Texas pouted at her older brother. "That hurts, bro. That hurts right here, right in the big ol' heart o' Texas." The 28th state patted her chest for good measures.

Alaska rolled his eyes, playfully shoving Texas. "All that aside, when are we leaving to go to England's place?"

Maryland hummed, thinking. "Most likely around noonish. Just to annoy the tea freak."

Alaska titled his head. "Whose time, though?"

All the states in the room looked at each other. "I have no idea." Maryland stated before turning back to the pancakes. "But I hope it's noon. Just to annoy that tea-loving, selfish, butthole of a freak."

Texas grinned. "Yea, then we can rain on his parade. Oh, wait! It always rains there!" She said, before cracking up at her own joke while Alaska just shook his head.

Texas hopped onto the table, just as Virginia, North Dakota, South Dakota, Hawaii, America, Louisiana, and California walked into the kitchen. "DONTCHA WISH YOUR COUNTRY WAS TEX. LIKE. ME?!" She grinned at Alaska, before going back to her horrible singing. "I feel majestic after that LAST. TEXAS. NIGHT! YEAH WE DANCED IN BARNS AND STABLES, AND WE RODE TOO MANY HORSES, THINK WE FELL BUT I FORGOT, LAST. TEXAS. NIGHT! DO IT ALLLLLLL AGAAAAAAAAIN!"

There was suddenly a loud laughter from the entrance of the kitchen, a laughter that sounded like America's.

"Dad!" Texas yelped in surprise, falling off the table and into Alaska's waiting arms. "W-when did you get here?"

America laughed. "Long enough to see you jump onto the table and sing that awesome parody! Dude, that was freakin' awesome!"

Texas grinned at America, while Maryland just sighed. "Please don't encourage her. She's already bad enough as it is."

North Dakota just laughed, probably so he could stop a fight before it started, like the good passive-aggressive state he is. "Well, hey, this is most of whose going to go to Hogwarts, yes?" America nodded his head to confirm, that yes, most of the state's who were going to Hogwarts were here. "Then let's just call the others and get this over with, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan to me!" Texas said, skipping around the room, Hawaii soon joining Texas's parade.

Alaska just sighed, walking behind the skipping, blue-eyed nation and picking her up bridal style. He whistled for Kyra before pushing past the nonchalant California and squealing Louisiana.

"They're so cute together!" Louisiana squealed, the amber-eyed, tan-skinned state jumping up and down before putting her curly black mess of hair into a high ponytail. "I _have_ to get some pictures of this!"

"Wanna borrow a camera and record it?" California asked, his grey eyes twinkling with mischief. "It'll be awesome blackmail material for whenever I wanna film something at one of their places."

"Oh!" Hawaii cheered, hopping over to her older siblings. "Can I get in on this? Texas still owes me money!"

California and Louisiana grinned at their sea-green-eyed sister. "Of course you can," Louisiana said.

"Please try not to kill each other while you're at it!" Maryland called out to the three states as they left the room, but his calls fell onto deaf ears. Virginia walked up to Maryland, putting his head on the latter's shoulder.

North Dakota, being the (not-so) good state he is, steered his father out of the room to follow the others, to leave the two to their "private time" as most states call it.

 **:)T(:**

"So..." Texas said awkwardly. "Let's ignore the moans that're comin' from the kitchen and get on with this meeting thing, 'k?"

"I agree with Texas," North Dakota said, raising his hand up.

" _Stop agreeing with that horse-loving southern state_!" South Dakota yelled while hitting North Dakota upside the head.

South Dakota glared down at his brown haired twin. He still didn't know how some people could mix the two up. South Dakota had a darker brown flop of hair and blue eyes, while North Dakota had light brown hair and green eyes. And on top of that, South Dakota never agreed with anyone, while North Dakota was always trying to agree with everyone.

"Hey!" Florida said, walking into the living room. "I brought the others!"

Florida quickly stepped to the side, revealing Mississippi, Alabama, and the District of Columbia. California groaned whenever he saw DC. He was hoping to have a brat-free time at Pigfarts.

"Why's DC comin'?" Texas asked.

"'Cause Maryland and Virginia are going and I don't want to have to deal with him for a _year_!" America yelled, grinning.

"Hey!" DC yelled out. "I take offence to that!" Everyone looked at the sandy-haired, blue-eyed, not-a-state.

"Yeah, right," Alabama said with a smirk.

"I have the Declaration of Independence!" DC said proudly, trying to look down on the taller Alabama with a smirk.

"Yeah, but it was signed in Pennsylvania." Mississippi said.

"Just 'cause it's in your city doesn't mean that it's _yours_." South Dakota said with a glare.

Texas nodded. "It's all of ours. The Declaration freed the US of A from the British Idiot."

America nodded. "Yeah, dude! The Independence and freedomness of me is for _EVERYONE_!" He said before laughing his "hero" laugh.

"Well, God, why doesn't everyone turn on me, eh?" DC said with a glare.

"Okay, Canada." Alaska said, trying to make a joke.

"Who?" All the states who didn't share a border with Canada asked. The two states there who were bordering Canada promptly face-palmed.

"Our Uncle?" North Dakota offered. "You know, the one who says 'Eh?' and downs a bottle of Maple Syrup in one swig?"

Everyone but Alaska and North Dakota had apparently forgotten who Canada was. Dang Americans.

Everyone's attention was soon turned towards the door that led into the kitchen, where Virginia and Maryland were trying to enter unnoticed.

"Welp," America started. "Now that everyone's here, or at least I think everyone's here…" He turned to look around the room. "Okay, well let's do a roll call since I have no frickin' clue as to who's here and who's not.

"Alabama?"

"What's up?"

"Texas?"

" _Hola_!"

"DC?"

"I'm here and ready to go to Warty-marts or whatever it's called!"

"Alaska?"

" _Da_ , I am here. So is Kyra."

"Virginia?"

"I'm here."

"Maryland?"

"Here."

"North Dakota?"

"Liberty and Union!"

"South Dakota?"

"The Ring-necked Pheasant is still better than the Northern Mockingbird!"

"I told you two to stop fighting over that! Texas, stop trying to shoot your brother! South, will you please stop using Alabama as a human shield? _Thank_ you. Hawaii?"

" _Aloha_!"

"Louisiana?"

" _Bonjour_!"

"California?"

"Eureka!"

"Mississippi?"

"Hail to thyn great state of giant rivers!"

"Florida?"

"My gaters bring all the boys to dah yard!"

"Okay," America said, tossing the list that seemed to appear from nowhere over his shoulder. "Now that that's done, lets go over some ground rules."

"Oh no," Hawaii said dramatically. "Dad going over rules? He must have ebola!" Everyone laughed at that, ebola being a joke between most states. Even though it wasn't. Ebola was not a joking matter. Even though no one listened to the "not a joking matters" these days.

"Dudes!" America said. "Shut up and listen to my hero voice!" The laughing states and capital turned to look at their father. "Good. Now, when at Hogfarts, use your human names. Even around other states, and cities, use your human names. We can't have anyone finding out about us, got it? Iggy's rules, not mine," America quickly said to the groaning voices. "And if you do, accidently say someone's state, or city, name, say it's from the time you've spend with me. And also say that you've got 51 siblings if anyone becomes too pushy, it should shut them up. I think." He turned his head to look at another piece of paper that seemed to randomly appear in his hand. "Iggy also says that you've gotta get your wizard stuffs, so in other words," he looked up at his children, "you're leaving now! We're gonna do the Nation-Step/Transport-for-awesome-people-like-us, and go to Iggy's place to annoy the British outa him!" America gave his states and capital a wide grin as he was met with cheers and applause. Someone even threw a baby at him.

"Alright, alright, I know I'm an awesome dad," America said after a few minutes. "But we need to go now. Away, to the outside world!"


	3. Chapter 3 Time To Go To Die-On-The-Alley

Chapter Three: Time To Go To Die-On-The-Alley!

After some hassle, thirty minutes of England yelling and America laughing, three new black eyes for some states, some more tea dumped on England's head, and a few hexes, everything was starting to go smoothly. Or so England thought.

"Daaaaaaaaad," California whined. "I thought you said we were gonna go to that weird Dragon Alley place. Not the old man's creepy basement!"

"No," Florida said, jumping up and down. "Dad said that we're going to see Iggy and _then_ go to Diagon Alley!"

Texas snorted. "Dude, Iggy, y'all got some freakin' weird names fer yer place! Pigfarts, Die-On-The-Alley, Wart's-Need, what's next? Some place called Moldy-shorts?"

Alaska let out a low chuckle. " _Nyet_ , England does not have place called 'Moldy-shorts', but he does have a dark wizard called that. I am correct, _da_?" He asked England, who was watching the states with wide eyes.

England coughed into his hand before sticking his nose a little higher in the air. "British names are not _weird_ , for your information! And you are all saying the names incorrectly, it is 'Hogwarts, Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and _Voldemort_ ', not those idiotic names you pulled from some children's book!"

"Oh," DC said. "Well, that makes the UK about 20% _less_ cooler now."

"Oh God," Hawaii groaned. "You did _not_ just make a 'My Little Pony' reference."

"And if I did?" DC challenged, taking a step forward.

"Then I'll disown you as my brother." The 50th state said bluntly.

North Dakota decided this was where he would step into the conversation. "It was a pretty good reference, though. Rainbow Dash is awesome."

"Fluttershy is better!" Alaska said.

"Noooo," Mississippi droned. "Twilight is better. She's a Princess!"

"But that doesn't mean anything, Mis." Florida said, also joining the conversation. "Apple Jack is an Earth Pony and she's the best. Right, Virgy?" She said, turning to her brother.

"Do not bring me into this idiotic conversation." Virginia groaned, facepalming. "And my personal favorite is Celestia."

"I like Derpy the most!" Texas piped up. "Derpy and the Doctor!"

"But they're just background ponies!" DC said. "I thought we were talking about the Mane Six!"

"We are?" Florida asked.

"Apparently so," South Dakota groaned. "And Pinkie Pie is the best, for your information."

"I agree that Apple Jack is the best pony from the Main Six," Alabama said. "But for overall best pony, Sombra is my favorite."

"But he's evil!" Texas said with a dramatic gasp. "Ya' can't like somepony who almost killed Cadence!"

"My vote's on Rarity!" California said, cutting off Alabama from what he was about to say.

"Mine's on Rainbow!" DC said.

Maryland decided this was the part where he came in, saying, "I like Fluttershy the most! She's so calm!"

"I like Pinkie the best!" Hawaii said while jumping up and down.

"But Rarity is all about fashion!" Louisiana said for the first time.

"But Fluttershy is so cute and she understands animals like I do with Kyra!" Alaska said.

And soon began the debate over which pony is the best. Until America stepped in, that is.

"All of y'all are so biased!" Texas practically screamed. "Who cares about the Main Six?! Episode 100, bitc-"

"WILL ALL OF YOU BLOODY STATES SHUT UP!" England yelled, trying to regain control of the situation.

"No!" All of the states yelled at the island nation at the same time before going back to arguing.

America let out a loud laugh, slapping England on the back. "Nice try, Iggy! But this is what ya gotta do!" He said before turning to face the circle the states had formed.

"DUDES, SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY HERO VOICE!" America's voice boomed through England's house, promptly shutting everyone up, as well as making the island nation cover his ears. "We all know that Luna is the best pony!" America said with a smirk.

And then everyone facepalmed.

America turned to England. "So, what'da wanna say, Iggy?"

"My name is _England_ , not that ridiculous nickname you seemed to have made for me." Said nation said, glaring daggers at America. "And I need everyone who is going to Hogwarts to step inside this pentagon so I can shrink you." He said, gesturing to a chalk pentagon behind him.

"W-wait, what?!" Alabama screeched. "No way in hell, British boy!"

"For once, I agree with the Southern Prick!" South Dakota yelped, backing away from England and his creepy pentagon. "I am _not_ letting you shrink me!"

Hawaii ran behind Texas, yelling, "shoot him! Shoot him before he kills us all with his food and pentagons!"

"As you wish, M'lady!" Texas pulled out a pair of dual western-style pistols, facing England. "Alaska, Alabama, California, weapons at the ready!"

The three states pulled out weapons in response to Texas. Alabama had a shotgun, California a battle axe, and Alaska pulled a giant hunting bow after barking a command to Kyra.

"What the bloody he-" England started, his eyes widening at an alarming rate.

"Florida, ya' still got that flamethrower I got cha' for yer birthday?" Texas said, cutting England off.

"Yups~~~!" Florida cheered, pulling the flamethrower out from no-where and pointing it at the fumbling island.

"Aww, dudes," America groaned. "It's just Iggy and his stupid magic stuff. If you wanna go to Pigfarts or whatever it's called, you dudes need to look 13, right?"

"Maybe…" Florida mumbled, throwing the flamethrower into the air and watching it disappear to wherever it had come from.

"C'mon, you four, too." America groaned to the four who still had their weapons out.

"Fine…" Alabama groaned before throwing his shotgun into the air like Florida did. California and Alaska following his example and making their weapons disappear.

"Texas." America said sternly. "Guns. Down. Now."

The state mumbled a few profanities in Spanish, throwing her pistols into the air.

"Thank you, Tex." America said, grinning at his states and capital. "Now go into the penta-thingy before _I_ shoot you."

Texas shuddered, before glaring at her father. "Okay, old man. Don't get yer panties in a twist."

America just laughed, hitting Texas in the back good-naturally. Except that he hit her a little _too_ hard, and Texas ended up getting thrown into the pentagon.

Great. Now for the rest of them.

Shrink, bitches, shrink! Mwahahahaha!

:)T(:

England, who hadn't even spent 45 minutes of the day with America's states, was already done with them. He suddenly felt guilty (almost) for sending them to Hogwarts, basically forcing them to spend time with Harry Potter ( _the poor boy…_ England thought), and for having the Headmaster deal with them for a full year. But, so long as they weren't in his hair for much longer, England felt that the world will be a better place. States were just so damn annoying.

"America," England spoke up to his former brother. "I think it might be better if we give your children some time to adjust to the wizarding world. Maybe wait a week or two after term starts and _then_ send them to Hogwarts. That way they can catch up with the third-years with magic and such."

America just laughed. "That's not up to me! It's up to them. They're free states, under my watch and law, yes, but they can decide for themselves."

"What're we deciding for ourselves?" A smaller Florida asked from her perch on England's favorite chair.

"W-when did you get here!" England yelled, stumbling back a few paces."You bloody state! Go back downstairs!"

"But Artieeeeeee!" She whined, "Texas, Alaska, Hawaii, Virginia, and California are going against North, South, Louisiana, DC, and Mississippi at a giant water-balloon fight! They won't let me join 'cause Maryland doesn't want to!" Florida huffed angrily.

"They are doing _WHAT_ in my basement?!" England screeched.

"An epic water-balloon fight without me." Florida repeated with a pout. "Hey, Dad, if you joined, we could go all out!" She said, hopefully.

"Your father will be doing no such thing!" The island nation yelled, roughly grabbing America and Florida by their sleeves. "America, get your children under control! I raised you better than this!"

America just let out his "hero-laugh". "Yeah, but your methods of raising me sucked!" He turned his head to England. " _You_ wouldn't let me be independent! I, however, let my states be as free as they like, like Liberty!"

England just mentally face-palmed, and continued to drag the two down to his basement. "If my basement's flooded, I swear to God…" He muttered darkly, causing Florida and America to sweatdrop.

Florida gave her father a look that said; "Distract him, I'll warn the others."

Sadly, though, her father cannot read looks or the atmosphere for shit. Her poor siblings. Oh well, they deserved it. No one kicks Florida out of a water fight without paying for it. Cue the evil grin.

 **:)T(:**

By the time England had finished chewing out America's states for "Completely bloody ruining my basement! America, you need to bloody raise your goddamn states better! Have you seen what they did to my bloody basement?! Stop laughing, you bloody gits! My poor basement!" it had become dark outside. Nations didn't necessarily need to sleep, but it was a welcome practice so they could still feel human. England's cozy estate, however, would not be able to fit all the states, so they were forced to stay at some sort of wizard pub called "The Leaky Cauldron". Even though it was a relatively common name, the states still laughed at it for the sake of annoying the English nation. When the states got all their rooms sorted out, America left to go back to his turf, saying that even though he loved his states in England dearly, there was still more of half of them at his house, most likely burning it down with some of New Mexico's bombs.

England was staying at his estate, but would come by the next day to help sort out all of the states' school stuff and money problems, as well as re-fill his stock of wizard money. But for now, the nations left the states on their own, to sleep and cause havoc wherever they go.

:)T(:

"Hey, Ala," California asked that night. "What do you think of all this?"

"All this what?" Alabama asked, looking up from his DS.

"All this-this magic stuff." California murmured. "It just… It doesn't feel _natural_! It feels so _wrong_ to just change stuff like this! I mean, turning mice into teacups, glass into birds, and-and all these crazy theories on Voldemort! It just doesn't feel right!" California ranted.

Alabama set his DS down, turning to face his brother. "Do you really want my honest opinion?" The 22nd state asked the 31st. A nod from California was all Alabama needed to go into his rant mode. "Honestly? I hate the idea of tampering with life. We've seen enough of it during the wars. I hate the idea that most wizards - the British ones, especially - think they're better than everyone else because they wave a wand and say some random crap, and _poof_! Something happens. Honest, House Elves are stronger than them." Alabama shook his head, his usually bright, forest green, looking more like one of Louisiana's swamps' green colours. "I hate to agree with Tex and Al with this, but they're right. Wizards really need to get down from their high horse and face the fucking truth. They're not as good as they seem to think they are. The British wizards are super behind in the times, more than the Russians, and speaking of those bastards, they seem to be unable to be _able to stop putting freaking vodka in all of their potions_! I get why they do it, Russian spirit, y'know, but seriously! I got my animagus potion from Russia, and it had straight vodka in it! I got drunk off a potion! Do you know how _embarrassing_ that is?" California snickered.

"I remember that! I still have the video of it, infact!" California started to laugh even harder. "A drunk black bear running around the house was something that was _such_ good blackmail." He looked over at Alabama before flat out laughing, clutching his stomach.

Alabama tried to not laugh, he really did, but being able to watch his younger, grey-eyed sandy-haired brother laugh like that really doesn't help him _not_ laugh. So he finally gave in, joining his laughing brother on the floor, like nothing was wrong with the world. But there was so much that needed to be changed.

So goddamn much.

 **:)T(:**

 _ **Quick AN! So, I just finished reading all of you guys's reviews for my sorry excuse of a fanfiction, and I would like to say thank you! Even if it's only four reviews, they still mean a lot. I've been meaning to PM each of you, but school and writing the next few chapters have gotten in the way. I'm sorry to say, but this fanfiction will most likely only be updated once every 1-2 weeks. This is due to school, me writing a new story/plot bunny ideas down (Fullmetal Alchemist multi-fandom crossover, anyone?), random one-shot ideas for my friend, and me possibly co-betaing a Percy Jackson/Harry Potter crossover, and other stuff has gotten in the way, as much as it sucks.**_

 _ **And I'm also a very slow writer. A very, VERY, slow writer. So slow it sucks. :(**_

 _ **But still, thank you guys so much! It makes me so happy to see you guys enjoy this little bout of crack! And I have some replies for the four of you who reviewed:**_

 _ **TBNRpheniox: Really? Small world, eh? I hope you enjoy this version of your Quotev fic. Can you possibly give me a link so I can follow you on Quotev?**_

 _ **ChefBoyardee: Whenever I looked at my email and saw your name, I DIED laughing! Best name ever! Thank you for the little tidbit on Alabama! That will be very useful knowledge for later chapters… *Cough cough***_ _ **Chapter ?: Alabama Blows Up The School?!**_ _ ***Cough cough*. ;3**_

 _ **Lukas Le Stelle: Yay! My old teacher actually got me into the ship. He was going over the Washington DC Burning of 1814, or whatever year it was, and he said, and I quote: "So, those British Bastards and those little Canadians just marched over to DC, yelled something about burning to hell, and burnt down that house like it was nuttin'! So, that, like, TOTALLY freaked little Maryland and Virginia out, 'cause, like, DC is their child. They love little DC to death. So they killed those redcoated British freaks. Together. Then they kissed like in all those Disney movies. So romantic. Much wow." Best history teacher ever. :D**_

 _ **TheChibitalian47: Really? That's a weird law :/ But, alas! It can be used! To go bath the donkeys of the US! *Charges into bathroom with E-oar. Or whatever the frick that depressed donkey's name was.***_

 _ **SkyeShah: Aww, thank you! I'll try my best to! :D**_

 _ **A few more things before I take my leave: I'm still in need of some Betas. If anyone wants to Beta this, please, speak up. I'm going to run out of ideas soon, and when that happens, I give up on the story. Look at my account and you can see that it's true. None of those stories had betas, and I have up on them during the summer when I didn't have my best friend's ideas and support to help move the story forward. If any of you guys are band nerds, like myself, then the support from my friends and people are the bass drum that drives my writing forward. I'm just the clarinet, violin, flute, baritone, trombone, tuba, whatever you want it to be, that plays the melody and writes out the song, the story, the thing that makes people glow with happiness or cry with the feeling of hopelessness or pain. So, I need as much support as I can get, or else this fic will go down the drain. So, I leave my request out there one more time: PLEASE, if any of you would like to be my beta reader, speak up now.**_

 _ **This fanfic will be posted on Wattpad! Once I find out how to post things on their, of course, so if you are interested, or like to use Wattpad better than FF.N, then if you can tell me how to post fics there, SGTH will be posted on my (brand-spankin' new) account, Mermaidhorse. The nickname thingy on there is Elemental Alchemist, so idk if that helps you finding me or anything. My profile pic is a dramatic looking Prussia and a black eagle, and the background is Roy and Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist being adorable :D Hopefully this info will help you find me! :D**_

 _ **My request for random facts are still out there! If ye' have a fact o' any of dem tiny turfs of countries, tell 'em to me! (Dat accent dooooooo) I'll also be taking any random dates! SPOILERS AHEAD:::: I will have the states dress up for Halloween, do something in honor of Homestuck, MLP, Doc. Who, Supernatural, Fullmetal Alchemist, Sherlock, ect. on certain dates when it counts! Oct. 3, something will happen, April 13th, something will happen, as well as other stuffs on those kinds of dates. So, any random dates with anything (any fandom) I will try to reference it or make something happen in honour of that day and fandom, k?**_

 _ **So, once again, thank you all so much! Can't wait till the states head over to Hogsparts, eh? ;3**_

 _ **-Mermaidhorse =^-^=**_


	4. Chapter 4: Diagon Alley Tea Party

Chapter Four: Diagon Alley Tea Party

When morning finally came around, Hawaii was pissed. So freakin' pissed, infact, that she ended up jumping out of her bed at 7 in the morning, dashing down into the pub, and ranted to a bunch of wizards on the properties of a good luau for a good thirty minutes before South Dakota and Texas both stomped down the stairs. They both took one look at their ranting sister, who was only dressed in short sleep shorts and a brightly coloured Marvel shirt, looked at each other, and touched their noses at the same time, yelling out "Not it!".

The two states stared eachother down, not backing down. That was of course, until Texas pulled a dirty move and kicked South in his shin.

After much cursing, waking up Virginia (which was not pretty. At _all_.), setting some poor wizard's robes on fire, Hawaii accidentally knocking some green-eyed wizard's glasses off, multiple shots of coffee, and a brooding California later, Hawaii finally stopped her luau rant. _Finally_.

"Okay, now that that's done," South Dakota mumbled, rubbing his still-sore shin, "what do we do now?"

Maryland looked up from his coffee. "We're supposed to meet the British Bastard at some bank." He looked at his pocket watch. "In maybe about twenty minutes."

"Make it thirty." Alabama said. "Who cares if we're late, anyways?"

DC looked up from his coffee. "Well, we're shrunk now, anyways. Might as well pay him back."

All the states looked at each other, a silent conversation passing between them.

"Alright, Tex- sorry, _Taylor_ , you go get the water balloons-"

"-Yes sir, Virginia sir!-"

"Call me Christopher! Use human names!" Virginia hissed at Texas. "DC, Sean, sweetie, can you go and get 5 gallons of tea, the hot kind, please? Alek, you and Kyra go find out where Arthur will be going to be waiting for us. Scope out the area, find good places to throw the tea bombs at, okay?"

DC and Alaska saluted Virginia before heading out to do the jobs Virginia instructed them to do.

"Alright, Annabeth, Carson, Joshua, and Laura, can you all go out and rig the tea-bomb throwers up again? Use the updated version, not the 1773 versions, please."

Mississippi, California, Alabama, and Louisiana all shouted "yes sir, Virgy sir!" before heading out to complete their tasks.

Virginia turn towards to the five states that were waiting for possible orders. "Brandon, Logan, you two are good at making distractions, so you twins go and make sure no wizards get caught in the crossfire, okay?"

North and South Dakota saluted Virginia before going to go do their evil twin shenanigans.

"Mia, if you can go help Taylor and Sean fill the water balloons with tea, that would be great." Virginia watched as Hawaii saluted and ran off to help her siblings. He turned to Maryland with a smirk. "And you, Thomas, you stay where you are. You look good this morning."

 **:)T(:**

"Target has been spotted, over and out." Alaska, AKA Alec A. Jones, said into his earpiece. "Kyra, go follow him, please." Kyra let out a small bark before following England into Gringotts.

"Good," Virginia's voice carried over from the earpiece. "Keep a good eye on him, I'll let you know whenever it's time to lure him out.

"Taylor, you come in?" Virginia asked into the earpiece.

"Wild West is in!" Texas's voice carried through, loud and clear.

"Alright, how are the balloons coming along?"

Virginia heard Texas and DC's snicker through his earpiece. "Oh, they're comin' along _quite_ nicely. Dare I say that this is the best we've ever made 'em?" The Old Dominion State heard the sarcasm and the obvious fact that his younger brothers did something to the balloons. But he ignored them. Virginia really didn't care about what happened to England at this point.

"Okay, good. When will you guys be ready?"

"6 minutes, give 'r take."

"Right. Once you are done with that, bring them to Gringotts, unless I tell you that something changed."

"Aye aye, Captain!"

"Brandon, you come in?" Virginia asked into his earpiece, switching channels once again.

"Sush! I'm supposed to be dead right now!" Virginia heard North Dakota hiss into his earpiece.

"He's actually doing a pretty good job at it." South Dakota, also known as Logan, laughed. "For once, he actually _looks_ dead. Must've gotten some good practice in."

"Ha-ha, _very_ funny, Brother." North Dakota muttered sarcastically. "And what are _you_ doing right now? Care to tell Virgy-dearest?"

Virginia could practically hear South Dakota blush. "N-no! I-I'm not doing a-anything!" He said frantactly.

"Blackmail shall be sweet, Brother."

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, but I _would_."

Virginia just switched channels to talk with Mississippi, who was working on setting up the tea traps. "Annabeth, you come in?"

"Yups! Everything's all set up. We'll be ready to set it off once Tex- Oh, speak of the fucker, here she is now." Mississippi said with a grin.

"Right, contact me once you're ready. Oh, and can you ask Carson to set up some cameras? I get the feeling that the next world meeting that's hosted will be _quite_ fun."

Mississippi snickered. "Of course, Chris. It shall be done."

 **:)T(:**

Less than ten minutes later, everything was set up. The Dakotas had managed to distract curious wizards, so the outside of Gringotts was empty and ready for the Diagon Alley Tea Party. With a small signal from Virginia, Alaska started the chain reaction.

America's 13 children eagerly waited outside as England walked outside, but sadly, there was someone with him. It was the wizard boy that Hawaii had knocked the glasses off earlier.

"Crap," Louisiana muttered. "Virgy, do we still fire?"

"Yes." Virginia said sternly, looking over at the boy. "Not our fault he's in the way."

"Chris-" Maryland started, putting a hand on his lover's shoulder. "That's the boy we are supposed to be protecting. Are you sure you want to get him caught in the crossfire?"

"Sacrifices must be made in the time of war." Alaska supplied over their communication devices. "Boys-Who-Lived included."

"Al's right." Texas said. "Fire on my mark. I've got the best aim here, remember?"

"You do not!" Florida gasped. "You, me, and Alabama all tied for shooting!"

"Whatever, on my mark!" The states waited as Kyra lead their targets into the middle of the street. Someone snickered as England looked around, confused.

"Ready…" Texas murmured. "...Steady… _**FIRE!**_ " Texas screamed, thrusting her hand forward in a firing motion from her position on the roof with the machines.

The 13 Americans watched with amusement as England starting to curse loudly as hot tea splattered all over himself and the Boy-Who-Lived.

"YOU BLOODY STATES GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!" England screamed at them, waving his fist in the general direction of bombers. "YOUR FATHER WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS! WAIT UNTIL HE HEARS THAT THIS HAPPENED AGAIN!"

"He'll just congratulate us!" Hawaii yelled down at England. "He is the one who showed us how to rig these things up, anyways!"

"Yeah!" California added. "Dad'll be happy that we got this on video, too!"

"Revenge is sweet, you British Bastard!" Virginia yelled down, his eyes alighted with joy.

"Sorry about all this, Harry," England sighed, facepalming. "My nieces and nephews are quite a handful."

"Uh, that's okay, Mr Kirkland." Harry said sheepishly, looking up to where the states were taunting their uncle. "Are they the ones who will be going to Hogwarts?"

"Yes, sadly they are. My brother - their father - has agreed to let them go to Hogwarts instead of their state's schools of Magic." England supplied, glaring up at them. "But that doesn't excuse their behavior."

"It's okay, Mr Kirkland," Harry said, smiling up at the man he had met a few minutes ago. "I don't mind it. They seem like fun people."

"I'm not too sure fun in the word I would use for them…" England trailed off before sighing. "Will you come down from there already?!" He yelled up at them.

"Fiiiiiinnnneeeeeee." North Dakota sighed, jumping down from the roof. "C'mon, Brother!"

"Alright, I'm comin'." His twin groaned, before hopping down to join the trio on the ground.

Soon, all the states stood in a semi-circle, facing England and his newfound companion.

"So, who's this?" Alabama asked bluntly.

"I'm Harry Potter," Harry said, waiting for them to make a big fuss over it. Surprisingly, they did nothing.

"Cool," a boy with blond hair and grey eyes said with a grin. "I'm Carson Jones!"

"And my awesomeness is Taylor!" A girl with brown and blond hair pointed to herself. "and this-" she pointed to the silver-haired boy behind her "-is Alek and his awesome dog, Kyra." The boy, Alek, gave Harry a small smile.

"I'm Joshua, but you can just call me Josh," a boy wearing a shirt that said 'All Hail Alabama The Great!'.

Harry nodded, all of the siblings names' going over his head. They all looked at him, grinning.

"I can understand if you don't remember all of our names at first," one of the boys, Thomas(?), said with a small smile.

"Yeah…" Harry said with a forced smile. How else was he supposed to respond to that?

"Welp, we better be going!" Taylor(?) said, grabbing two of her brothers' hands and dragging them to Gringotts. "We still need to raid Dad's bank account and get all the stupid supplies and shit. See ya' later, Harry!" And with that, the Jones's were gone.


	5. Chapter 5: Amulet of Giant-Ass Snakes

Chapter Five: The Amulet of Giant-Ass Snakes

Harry didn't forget the Jones' in the following weeks of his stay at The Leaky Cauldron. Because, honestly? Who could forget thirteen teenagers who dump hot tea on you and accidentally knock your glasses off of your face? Harry even told Hermione and Ron, his two best friends, about it when the three of them met up. The weeks of Harry's stay ended more quickly than he would of liked, but the thought of returning to Hogwarts brightened his spirits considerably. Sadly, the ride to Hogwarts ended up worse than he would have liked, with the Dementor attack and all. So, when he and Hermione arrived in the Great Hall just in time for Dumbledore's speech they quietly made their way towards their house table.

"Welcome!" Said Dumbledore, the candlelight shimmered on his beard. "Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it is best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast…"

Dumbledore cleared his throat and continued, "As you will all be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the demented of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business."

He paused, and Harry remembered what Mr Weasley had said about Dumbledore not being happy with the Dementors guarding the school.

"They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds," Dumbledore continued, "and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises - or even Invisibility Cloaks," he added blandly, and Harry and Ron glanced at each other. "It is not in the nature of a Dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the perfects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs afoul of the Dementors," he said.

Percy, who was sitting a few seats down from Harry, puffed out his chest again impressively. Dumbledore paused again; he looked very seriously around the hall, and nobody moved or made a sound.

"On a happier note," he continued, "I am pleased to welcome two new teachers and a few _special_ guests to our ranks this year.

"First, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

There was some scattered, rather unenthusiastic applause. Only those who had been in the compartment with Professor Lupin clapped hard, Harry among them. Professor Lupin looked particularly shabby next to all the other teachers in their best robes.

Ron was about to say something to Harry, but before he could, the Great Hall's doors banged opened, the large, heavy oak doors slamming into the stone walls. A hush fell over the crowed of magic users.

"... I still don't get why we couldn't have taken up Iggy's offer to stay at home for a few more days!" An American accent floated into the silent hall. "C'mon, Mis, don't you agree?"

"Cali," a new voice joined the other, this time a girl's. "It'll be better if we got here _before_ the other students, not after them."

The British wizards and witches tried to get a good look at the doors to see who the voice belonged to. Harry turned his head over to whisper to his friends. "Ron, Hermione, I think those are the Americans I told you about!"

Hermione's eyes widened and Ron stood up to get a better look at the Americans.

"Hey, hey, guys," a newer voice with a thick Southern American accent filled the Great Hall. "I think we forgot about the time difference."

"What do you mean by that, Tex?" The first person who had spoken asked.

"Well, I think she said that because the whole school is looking at us." A voice with a thick Northern accent joined the conversation.

"Ooooh, so _that's_ what Iggy meant by hurry up or you'll be late!" Harry could see a small mop of brown hair rush by all the house tables. A young boy, about Harry's age, with a face full of freckles and bright blue eyes stopped in front of Professor Dumbledore. "Sean Jones reporting for duty, Mr Doubledoors, sir!"

Dumbledore chuckled at the boy's - Sean's - missay of his name, instead of getting mad. "Hello, Mr Jones." The old Professor replied, eyes twinkling. Dumbledore turned towards the other twelve Americans who were still standing in the Great Hall doorway. "The rest of you, no need to worry, please join us!" He spread his hands out at the student body. "We were about to introduce you."

"Uh, we're sorry, I guess…?" A boy with dirty blonde hair and grey eyes walked over to the Headmaster. "I guess we just forgot about the time zones…"

The elder just laughed. "No worries, Mr Carson." The rest of the Americans followed Carson's lead into the Great Hall. "Now then," Dumbledore announced to the rest of the Student Body, "These thirteen Americans have come to join us for a year at Hogwarts! I hope you can treat them with all the respect they deserve, and I am sure they will do the same to you." With a small smile, the ancient man turned towards the thirteen siblings. "Now it is time for a Sorting - the American way!"

"Wait, what?" A girl with sun-bleached hair yelped. "Iggy told us that we just had to put a hat on!"

Even from where the Golden Trio was sitting, they could see Dumbledore's eye twinkling merrily. "Yes, but I figured this way would be a bit more fun."

Whispers spread around the Great Hall, students already coming up with theories behind the foreign students.

"Instead of the Sorting Hat, we will be using a piece of work I think you will all appreciate. It _was_ , in fact, donated by one of your father's colleagues." Dumbledore said with a small smile. He waved his hand, ignoring the horrified faces of his newest charges. "I present to you, the Amulet of China." He pulled out a golden amulet attached to an equally golden chain. In the center of the amulet there was a swirling grey mass, mesmerizing the mass of students. Dumbledore smiled at them before calling out one of the boys's name.

"Jones, Alek!" A stocky boy with unevenly cut white hair walked over to Dumbledore. The man whispered something in the boy's - Alek's - ear before putting the amulet around his neck. There was a small pause before Alek let out a gasp, his eyes turning pure white before a giant silver snake appeared behind him with a flourish of green sparks.

"Slytherin!" Dumbledore called out, clapping his hands together and taking the amulet from the shaken American. Harry looked at his friends, who were looking at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

"This is going to be one _hell_ of a year." Ron muttered.


	6. Chapter 6: Why Would China Make This?

Chapter Six: Why Would China Make This?!

Texas, also known as Taylor Jones, could only stare as her siblings were 'sorted' into their Houses. After Alek was sorted into Slytherin, the others were nervous to step up to the plate. Well, Virginia was more pissed than scared, but he doesn't count. Mississippi, the next to go after Alek, walked over to Dumbledore after he called her human name ("Jones, Annabeth!"). She looked as if walking over to the older man was the last thing she wanted to do. After putting the Amulet of China on, she paused before her mouth opened in a silent scream. A black and white badger growled from behind the state before disappearing in a shower of golden sparkles.

"Hufflepuff!" Dumbledore called out, taking the Amulet from a shaking Mississippi. He paused for a second, allowing the 20th state to hurriedly walk to the badger table. He smiled at the other states, eyes twinkling, "Jones, Brandon!" He called out to North Dakota.

The Northern brother was gripping his Southern counterpart's hand shaking his head a bit. With a gentle push of his open hand, South Dakota sent his twin over to Dumbledore. With a betrayed look thrown in South Dakota's direction, the 39th state walked over to Dumbledore, looking like a kicked puppy.

The old man put the Amulet of Death, as Texas has now dubbed it, over the state's head and onto his neck. With a small scream, North Dakota summoned a roaring lion that shot across the Great Hall before disappearing in a shower of red sparks.

"Gryffindor!" Dumbledore called out gleefully before he beckoned the next state, California ("Jones, Carson!").

 _Is he_ _enjoying_ _this?!_ Texas thought with anger. _If he is, I swear to all things holy, I will burn his stupid body to a crisp._

Texas was yanked from her thoughts when a giant bronze eagle appeared behind California, cawing as it spread its wings to fly, only to shatter into blue sparks, much like the other's had.

"Ravenclaw!" Dumbledore yelled out, once again, before calling out to Virginia ("Jones, Christopher!"). An eagle and blue sparks marked Virginia a Ravenclaw, and the process was repeated for Alabama, AKA Joshua Jones, except he was Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw.

 _This is kind of boring…_ Texas thought, catching the sight of Louisiana's Gryffindor red sparks before slipping back into her own mind. She checked up on her people and economy. No use in getting sick on her first week, right?

Dumbledore's call of the younger of the Jones twins pulled Texas out of her (incredibly) unorganised mind and into the present time. The brunette state looked up just in time to see the dark brown haired twin be put into Slytherin.

 _Ouch._ She thought. _I hope North'll be okay without South to keep him company._

"Jones, Mia!" Texas watched as Hawaii walked over to Dumbledore, trying to look confident and unafraid. Except that the 50th state was kind of failing. A shower of blue and a cawing eagle later; there was only four more states to go and one more Ravenclaw thrown into the mix.

"Jones, Sarah!" The Sunshine state, in all her blonde glory, attempted to stride like a douche over to Dumbledore, only to trip. Fortunately she caught herself before she hit the floor, but unfortunately for her, everyone else saw. And oh, how the states laughed at their sister's misplaced feet. And to the joy of the lions, a new one joined the Pride.

"Jones, Sean!" DC, for all of his eternal youth, was shaking as he walked over to Dumbledore and that bloody amulet. Texas glanced over to her left, curios to see how Sean's Ravenclaw parent was taking this. Long story short; Virginia looked like he wanted to go punch Dumbles in the face, while Maryland (who was behind Texas, last in line to be sorted) was attempting to calm his lover with looks and silent pleads to /not/ punch the annoying old man in the face. Though, Maryland clearly wanted to punch good ol' Doubledoors himself.

When Dumbledore finally put the Amulet of China over DC's head and onto his neck, he let out a girlish scream as blazing golden sparks surrounded the giant badger behind him.

"Hufflepuff!" Dumbledore announced, taking the amulet before calling out Texas's human name. "Jones, Taylor!"

With a sense of false bravo, Texas walked over to the younger man, shooting finger-pistols into the audience of students _. I hope I get into Slytherin with Al…_ Texas thought as she put the Amulet of Disappointments around her neck.

A pain, so intense, entered her mind, forcing past all the souls of her people, against all the stereotypes that made Texas… Well, Texas. In the back of her exploding mind, the 28th state's Texan logic whispered "It's looking for your personality… not the stereotypes… Not your people's… _yours_." And while, Texas might appreciate this later, for once she really wanted to just stick a ratty old hat on her head instead of this. Anything but _this_.

Out of the corner of her eye, the brunette state was able to see red sparks, a clear sign of Gryffindor. And Dumbledore's voice only proved her to be correct.

Texas, as if in a daze, slowly took that cursed amulet off before walking over to the red and gold lion den. She was barely aware of Maryland being sorted into Ravenclaw, or Dumbledore finishing his speech, something about Care of Magical Creatures, whatever that may be. Nor was she able to focus on the amazing scent of the food that appeared in front of the Gryffindors. Or that North Dakota was trying to get her attention. She noticed none of it, her mind stuck in 1836. Memories of the war, the hurt, the loss, the _death_. And she couldn't do anything about it. She had to watch as her people died before her. Back then she was called a different name, one she couldn't even remember. She was at the Alamo now. Her citizens were next to her as they fought off the Mexicans. She was pushing to leave while they could, but no, they must stay to fight. And their stubbornness soon ingrained itself into Texas, so much that most Texans were naturally stubborn. All from that one idiot who hesitated to send the letter. Yet, who was Texas to scold people about hesitating? During that same war, in the same damn missionary, she had hesitated to step in and save a little boy. If she hadn't hesitated, then Juan would have lived. But no, Texas can't even save a six year old boy.

Suddenly, Texas stiffened. There was a familiar warm that surrounded her. Just like Mexico would do during the stormy nights during the war with Spain. Mexico, who wouldn't just give Texas her freedom. Mexico, who should just go and di-

Texas's thoughts were suddenly cut off by the familiar voice who whispered sweet Russian into her ear.

" _Не волнуйтесь. Где бы вы ни, я там. Я буду защищать вас. Успокойся, Техас_." _**/Don't worry. Wherever you are, I am there. I will protect you. Calm down, Texas./**_

"I'm okay… I'm okay, Al." Texas breathed out, leaning into her brother's warm embrace.

"Good." Alaska whispered.

 **:)T(:**

Alaska, while he was shaken and unprepared for the Amulet of China, could tell his reaction wasn't going to be as bad as the other's. His personal history wasn't quite as bad as Texas's or Virginia's, for example, nor did he have that many citizens that the Amulet needed to push past to reach him. So when Alaska saw Texas strut over to Dumbledore with a grin on her face and finger-pistols flashing, the 49th state chose to ignore the pale boy next to him and to instead watch his sister. This, of course, pissed the boy off but Alaska could care less. And what pissed the boy off even more was when North Dakota came over to the Slytherin table to ask Alaska if he could possibly calm Texas down.

"What are _you_ doing here?" The pale Slytherin asked the 39th state.

North Dakota blinked. "I'm here to talk to my brother." He said, confused, before turning to face Alaska. "Hey, Al, can you come help Te - er, _Taylor_ out? She's stuck again."

Alaska opened his mouth to reply to the older state, but the (annoying) pale boy spoke up. Again. "Your sister is stuck? Where, in her seat?"

The last Frontier glared at the pale boy. "Do not insult Taylor like that. One more word out of your mouth and I will personally make sure you never use it again." Alaska got up before the other Slytherin could say anything, instead following his older brother, who was joined by his twin, to the Gryffindor table. Alaska could see Texas shaking, eyes wide behind her glasses, clutching the table like it was her lifeline. The other Gryffindors were too focused on Taylor to notice the two Slytherins. That is, until Alaska wrapped his arms around Texas and brought her into a hug. Kyra, being the awesome dog that he was, joined Alaska and Texas in the hugfest, causing more stares to be pointed in their direction. But Alaska didn't notice as he started to whisper calming Russian in Texas's ear. He knew better than to speak in Spanish when Texas was having a flashback. That was one mistake that he would never make again.

" _Не волнуйтесь. Где бы вы ни, я там. Я буду защищать вас. Успокойся, Техас_." _**/Don't worry. Wherever you are, I am there. I will protect you. Calm down, Texas./**_ The silver-haired state whispered, slowly rocking them back and forth.

He looked down at Texas, watching as her eyes cleared, slowly gaining more light in her sky-blue gaze.

"I'm okay… I'm okay, Al," Texas breathed out, leaning into Alaska's embrace.

"Good." Alaska whispered. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. "It would suck if you had an attack so soon in the year."

Texas let out a little laugh, the two oblivious to the furious Gryffindors around them. "Yeah, it would." She reached over to Kyra and patted him on the head. "Hey, bud."

Kyra let out a small whine at Texas. He was asking if she was okay.

The brunette grinned at the silver and white husky. "I'm fine."

Alaska opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off. Again.

"What do you bloody Slytherins think you're doing g over here? This is the Gryffindor table, in case you were too stupid to tell." A redheaded boy spoke to Alaska and North Dakota, glaring at the two states.

"Ron!" A girl with bushy brown hair scolded the boy, Ron. She turned to the Americans. "I'm so sorry for Ron, he just can't seem to get it through his thick head that you were helping her out." She stuck out her hand in greeting, a wary smile on her face. "I'm Hermione Granger, third year. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

South Dakota glared at her, but with a small nudge from his older twin, he relented, shaking hands with Hermione. "Logan Jones, third year."

Alaska smiled at Hermione. "I am Alek Jones," he pointed to Kyra. "And this is Kyra. We are in the third year as well."

Hermione grinned at them, not as hesitant now.

Ron, who was watching from beside Harry, snorted before mumbling something and going back to his food. South Dakota shot a glance at Ron before speaking to Hermione. "Well, Al and I might want to head back to our own table. I can tell when we're not wanted." He nodded to his twin before doing an about face back to the Slytherin table. Alaska gave Texas once last, small, squeeze before getting up and walking back to his own table, Kyra following close behind. One thought echoed through the mind of the watching students and states.

They were in for another crazy year.

 _ **Small AN! I'm sorry that I haven't been posting a lot (I mostly write during the breaks, and we can't use phones and crap at school so I can't write then, so I haven't been writing that much! Also, I might post a little blooper thing for this fic. It'll basically be all the ideas that I had for this fic that won't work out. If you guys want me to post them, I will! :P**_

 _ **Uuuh, guys? I**_ _ **really**_ __ _ **need a beta. I don't care if you've never been one before, I just need something other than Google to correct my mistakes. Please. I'm digressing a lot when I write these days… :(**_

 _ **So, here's a small sneak peak at what might come during our spooky Halloween chapter: (maybe)**_

Virginia turned around, his hair flying in his face. Why had he ever agreed to wear this stupid thing? It made the state feel off-balance and he did _not_ __like it. Not one bit.

"Ar, me arty!" California laughed, jumping in front of a dressed-up Virginia. "Ye ready fer me awesome shin-dig, ya landlubber?"

"Carson, I'm not in the mood." Virginia glared up at the other state. "I still don't know how Thomas got me to wear this stupid thing!"

California just laughed a very pirate - like laugh. "It be the touch of a lover, eh?"

"You can drop the act you know!" Virginia yelled at the sandy-haired state, whom was running off laughing like a mad-man. "Get back here!"

 _ **You guys excited? 'Cause I am! :D**_

 _ **Also, holy mother of crap, you guys's comments on China! XD**_

 _ **Aaah, I laughed so hard I peed myself. -3-**_

 _ **Anyways! Be on the lookout for chapter 7! :D**_

 _ **Also, you guys are so lucky. 2 updates in one day. I've never done this before! :O**_

 _ **-Mermaidhorse =^-^=**_


	7. Chapter 7: A Look Into The Mind

Chapter Seven: A Look Into The Mind

When Harry, Ron, and Hermione entered the Great Hall for breakfast the next day, the first thing that they saw was Draco Malfoy, who seemed to be entertaining a large group of Slytherins, the two Americans included, with a very funny story. As they passed, Malfoy did a ridiculous impression of a swooning fit and there was a roar of laughter.

"Ignore him," said Hermione, who was right behind Harry. "Just ignore him, it's not worth it…"

"Hey, Potter!" Shrieked Pansy Parkinson, a Slytherin girl with a face like a pug. "Potter! The dementors are coming, Potter! _Wooooooooo_!"

Harry dropped into a seat at the Gryffindor table, next to George Weasley, who was talking to one of the Americans. Sarah, if Harry remembered correctly.

"New third-year schedules," said George, passing them over. "What's up with you, Harry?"

"Malfoy and his bloody gang of Slytherins," said Ron, sitting down on the other side of George's other side and glaring over at the Slytherin table.

George looked up in time to see Malfoy pretending to faint again.

"That little git." He said calmly. "He wasn't so cocky last night when the dementors were down at our end of the train. Came running into our compartment, didn"t he, Fred?"

"Nearly wet himself," said Fred, with a contemptuous glance over at Malfoy.

Sarah, from her place across from George, spoke up, her southern accent rolling across the table with ease. "Don't worry about it, Harry. Al and Logan are probably just there to get info for us!" She grinned at Harry, who didn't look convinced. "I've known the two a good portion of my life, they'd never do anything against you!"

Hermione blinked at Sarah. "'A good portion of your life'? You're all siblings though… right?"

Sarah just grinned at them, but another American, one who looked a lot like the brown-haired Slytherin spoke up. "Yeah, we are… kind of, but not by blood." He tilted his head a bit. "Most of us are adopted. But some of us, like Logan and I, are actually related by blood. Carson, Taylor, Sarah and Juan are cousins, but Dad adopted them. Sooo… we're like family, but not family."

"Yeah," a new voice spoke up. It was another American Gryffindor, Joshua(?). He put his hand on the twin's shoulder, who Harry remembered was Brandon. "Being family doesn't just mean blood. Family is someone you love and trust with all your heart." He grimaced a bit. "Though, I can't say I trust Al completely." The boy shivered with a teasing grin on his face. "He's so much like Ivan at times it's scary!"

A shot rang out across the Great Hall. Harry turned to see one of the Ravenclaws, the one with bright green eyes, half-moon glasses, and blond hair, holding a gun pointed to one Hufflepuff girl, who was talking to Sean, the boisterous Hufflepuff from America. The girl, Susan Bones, reeled back from the bullet hole that was now in the Hufflepuff table. Sean just turned his head to glare at the green-eyed Ravenclaw.

"Dad!" Sean yelled out, getting up from his seat at the table to walk over to the taller Ravenclaw, who in turn scolded the Hufflepuff.

The American Gryffindors chuckled, causing the other Gryffindors around them to turn. Seeing their stares, Sarah explained. "That's Thomas. He and Chris, or Virgy as we call him, basically raised Sean when Dad wasn't home." Sarah chuckled again. "Uncle Francis thought it would be funny if Sean would call Thomas 'Dad' and Chris 'Mom', so the names always kind of stuck."

The other Gryffindors' eyes were wide, Harry and Ron staring with their mouths open and forks dropped. George was the first to recover.

"That's… that's different." The Weasley twin smiled at the Americans. "Well, go over to McGonagall if you want your schedules. I'll see you 'round!"

The Americans all looked at each other. "We should probably go, too. We need to talk to Dumbles about our schedules." Sarah smirked at them. "See ya'!"

After a quick good-bye from the Gryffindors, Fred and George left the Great Hall, while the others got their siblings. Harry helped himself to some sausages and fried tomatoes, while listening to Hermione at the same time.

"Ooh, good, we're starting some new subjects today," she said happily.

"Hermione," said Ron, frowning as he looked over her shoulder, "they've messed up your schedule. Look - they've got you down for about ten subjects a day. There isn't enough _time_."

"I'll manage. I've fixed it with Professor McGonagall."

"But look," Ron said, laughing, "see this morning? Nine o'clock, Divination. And underneath, nine o'clock, Muggle Studies. And" - Ron leaned closer to the schedule, disbelieving - "/look/ - underneath that, Arithmancy, _nine o'clock_. I mean, I know you're good, Hermione, but no one's _that_ good. How're you supposed to be in three classes at once?"

"Don't be silly," Hermione said shortly. "Of course I won't be in three classes at once."

"Well then -"

"Pass the marmalade," said Hermione.

"But -"

"Oh, Ron, what's it to you if my time-table's a bit full?" Hermione snapped. "I told you, I've fixed it all with Professor McGonagall."

Just then, Hagrid entered the Great Hall. He was wearing his long moleskin overcoat and was absent-mindedly swinging a dead polecat from one enormous hand.

"All righ'?" He said eagerly, pausing on his way to the staff table. "Yer in my firs' ever lesson! Right after lunch! Bin up since five getting' everthin' ready...hope it's OK...me, a teacher...hones'ly..."

He grinned broadly at them and headed off to the staff table, still swinging the polecat.

"Wonder what he's been getting ready?" Ron asked, a note of anxiety in his voice.

The Hall was starting to empty as people headed off towards their first lesson. Ron checked his schedule.

"We'd better go, look, Divination's at the top of North Tower. It'll take us ten minutes to get there..."

They finished their breakfast hastily before heading out of the Great Hall. As they passed the Slytherin table, Malfoy did yet another impression of a fainting fit. The shouts of laughter followed Harry into the Entrance Hall.

 **:)T(:**

DC rested his head in his hand. His brothers and sisters sat around them, some actually listening to Dumbledore (Virginia, Maryland, Alaska, North Dakota, Mississippi), while the majority of them just sat around being bored out of their minds.

He couldn't believe Dad had shot a gun at him that morning! Yeah, he gets that they've been protective ever since 1812, but he was old! Older than some of the other states, infact! But noooo, you get burned to the ground one time and suddenly he needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap and be spoon-fed. He was just trying to make a friend with a fellow Hufflepuff. yet he can't even have one human friend, can he?

The American Capital sighed into his hand, eyes glancing over to Maryland and Virginia. The two of them were close to each other, and despite Virginia constantly saying that they're not a couple, they _so_ were. Everyone could tell.

DC smiled before going back to his day dreaming. Yup, his mom and dad were awesome. Overprotective, yes, but still awesome. He couldn't ask for a better family.

 **:)T(:**

 _ **One more small AN! Hey guys, I really want to go back and edit the first chapter (I cringe every time), but I don't know how to! D:**_

 _ **Can someone PM me and tell me how one edits stuff without deleting something? And I also really want to post this on Wattpad, so how do I do that, as well? I'm so lost in all this! D:**_

 _ **But yay! We're actually in the book now! And boy, is it making me slower! XD**_

 _ **So yups. I still need a beta! Please, I will literally take anyone who wants the job. PLEEEAAAASSSEEEEEE! D:**_

 _ **Anyways, thanks for all your awesome reviews! I love all of them! :D**_

 _ **Lukas Le Stelle: Yes, they will be getting**_ _ **lots**_ _ **of action ;)**_

 _ **LetThemHaveGermanRumCake: Hehe, yeah, he really is, isn't he? But I really didn't want to use the Sorting Hat! It just didn't seem right :(**_

 _ **Love2081: Thank you! I try my best ;D**_

 _ **Seshat-Ra: You're welcome and thank you! I'm glad you're happy with the results! It's hard to make sure the states don't act too much like adults o.o**_

 _ **freyiejj: Aww, thank you! I'll try not to, but that first chapter… ugh. I think I'm gonna puke. D: Hae! I didn't know that. That'd be fun to use for the Halloween chapter… ):33**_

 _ **Lukas Le Stelle: Hehe, you're here again! 3 And you're welcome. I've always enjoyed killing people's sanity. And DC is basically their love child! :D (Florida's just and awesome liar.)**_

 _ **Yeah, sorry about not responding sooner. Please send random facts! I'm trying to use them, but… meh. I forget things easily DX**_

… _**maybe that's why I'm failing Algebra…**_

 _ **So yups! Bye bye, have a lovely Wednesday! :D**_

 _ **-Mermaidhorse =^-^=**_


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